Happy new year! I hope that this blog post finds you well and possibly enjoying a fresh start to the year. Taking on this mindset can be a wonderful opportunity to start a new project or set your sights on a new goal. Towards the end of last year I read the self-help book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear. It is a very accessible book that offers a clear structure for successfully starting new habits.
I thought now would be a good time for me to share the things that I have personally gained from this book, what I found to be the take home messages, and hopefully some useful tips for you to successfully stick to your new year’s resolutions. I also heartily recommend reading the book yourself, if you find this post interesting. I have not received any incentives to give this recommendation.
I used to be a tree surgeon, and enjoyed having a very physical job that meant I did not have to do any further exercise to stay fit and strong. Now that I am a counsellor in my early forties I am becoming aware that I need to do some intentional exercise in order to prevent my physical decline. I have always been a fan of incorporating exercise into whatever I already do, so I have been cycling or walking to work for some time now, but that still didn’t feel like enough.
The idea that has stuck with me the most from Atomic Habits is habit stacking. This is when you schedule the new habit to begin after something you already do every day. I wanted to start by doing some press ups, and I already do some meditation each morning, so I started my new habit by doing 5 press ups every time I finished meditating. Which leads on to another important part of the method, starting small and regular. Never miss a day and definitely don’t miss two days! This is key.
The book does contain 4 laws of habit formation, which I cannot remember. What I do remember is that the important thing is making it feel routine before you strive for bigger goals. It was important for me to get in the habit of doing a small amount of exercise every day, and then to increase the amount of exercise later, when it was established. Once you are used to doing something every day, it becomes less mental effort to do it.
I think that I am about 3 months in now and, I must admit, I have missed a few too many days over the festive season, but I am now back in the habit of doing 10 to 20 press ups each morning, plus some skydives, and up to 6 pull ups. This is an enormous gain, and it has felt easy, and it feels like an established part of my life now. All of this came from a very undemanding start, and it has grown organically. If I am having a sluggish day I might only do 1 press up, but I still do it, and that is the important thing.
I realise that I could waffle on about this method and how it works, but I think I would like to close by reflecting on a very important point put across at the beginning of the book. Do not be focussed on the outcome, be focussed on the way you achieve it. “I want to be strong again” is my outcome, but my focus needs to be on how I get stronger, and more importantly how I identify with this personally. Am I the sort of person who works on their fitness? I used to think not. James Clear gives this quote from a top level sports coach, “take care of the training, and the score takes care of itself”. I can really feel the truth of this. I have never set myself goals of how many press ups I want to be able to do, I have just done a few more when I can, and a few less when I can’t, and over time I have gotten stronger without much apparent effort, apart from when the effort has felt enjoyable.
To summarise:
- Start small, easy and regular.
- Use an already established routine as a starting point.
- Identify more with the process than the outcome.
- Take it easy on tough days, but still do it.
There is so much more to this book, but this is a reflection of what I took home from it. If you still find you are struggling to achieve your goals then it may be worth seeking professional advice, be it from a coach if you need more planning and motivation, or from a therapist if there is some kind of deeper emotional blockage holding you back.
I wish you all the very best for the new year with whatever you chose to do. Will.
Will Farmer Counselling 