This is a short reflection on an idea that was important during my work this week. Playfulness is an important part of therapy and life. We rarely feel playful until we feel safe. Play is how we bond with others, exploring the bounds of a relationship in a consensual way. Play is an engaging and memorable way to explore new ideas and to develop new abilities.
In the PACE parenting model of therapeutic parenting, described by Dan Hughes and Kim Golding in their book Creating Loving Attachments, the P stands for playfulness, followed by Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. In reality the order is more likely to read something like AECP, but this doesn’t roll off the tongue like pace. What it does show is how much relational work is needed as a foundation for beneficial play, especially a feeling of being safe and understood.
In therapy sessions it is important to create space for the complete expression of the client’s self, including humour and playfulness, especially when we consider how important the relationship between client and counsellor is. Sometimes this can literally manifest as playing catch together in the therapy room. This simple activity involves trust, safely engaging with your body, coordinating your actions with another, feeling able to make mistakes, sharing laughter.
Hopefully this short piece might inspire some reflection, and some playful moments with yourself and others. Best wishes, Will.
Will Farmer Counselling 