Each time I work with someone going through bereavement certain perspectives become clear. One of the most positive insights that can be gained from the loss of death is what is really important to us. Usually it is other people that are most important to us, and having memorable experiences.
It is amazing how easy it can be to lose sight of this fact. We can quickly become engrossed in things that distract us from what is really important. We can behave in petty ways, spreading discord amongst the people around us. Behaving in ways that we never would if we thought that our death was imminent.
I remember hearing a Buddhist monk describe a contemplation he would do each morning upon waking. I can only paraphrase it from memory as:
“The only thing certain in life is death. I cannot know when I am going to die. Knowing this, how will I act.”
A lot of people do not like to contemplate the fact that they will die. It usually comes with all sorts of sad and scary thoughts. But to keep shining a kindly light on our own mortality gives us inspiration to live in the way we would like to be, rather than putting it off until later. It also allows us to become increasingly accustomed to the idea that one day we will all be dead, fostering a more compassionate and resilient mindset in the face of such sad loss.
I wonder if you might now be inspired to touch base with your mortality each day, so that you can savour each fine breath of air, each moment of connection, and the small perfect events that are unfolding all around us in each moment.
Will Farmer Counselling 